


Super Mario Odyssey Gaiden: The Fallen Maia's Kingdom

by BestAtBeingBad



Category: Middle-earth: Shadow of Mordor (Video Games), Super Mario Odyssey (Video Game)
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Crack, Death Threats, Gen, Slavery, probably won't be continued
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-22
Updated: 2019-08-22
Packaged: 2020-09-24 02:27:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20350855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BestAtBeingBad/pseuds/BestAtBeingBad
Summary: Mario and Cappy take another vacation! Nobody told them about the ruthless Dark Lord who desires nothing more than to rule the world with a mithril fist, though.





	Super Mario Odyssey Gaiden: The Fallen Maia's Kingdom

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this almost two months ago and never got around to putting on here because I didn't feel like logging in from my laptop. I regret to inform you that I actually don't have any plans to continue this, because I'm terrible with long form content. I hope you enjoy what's already here if you're in the vanishingly small cross-section of people who love Super Mario Odyssey and the Shadow of Middle-Earth games.

“Wow, Mario, Middle-Earth is way more beautiful than I could have hoped!” The lush green fields of Nurnen gently bristled in the wind as Mario stood on top of a wide mesa, head turned downward at his travel brochure, reading about all the rich and fascinating cultures populating his current vacation spot. He gave an “Mhm!” in response to his companion after taking a brief moment to look out at the verdant plains, a shimmering sapphire sea barely visible in the distance. Placing his brochure back into his overalls, he leaped off of the edge, shouting “Here we go!”, excited to see what was in store for his time here.

It was here that the two came across a malnourished man in rags laying on the ground, being stomped on by a gross monster waving around a curved sword of questionable construction. Nearby the pitiful scene were more tired men swinging pickaxes at grey stone being overseen by more ugly creatures wielding crudely manufactured weapons. “This is what you get for not picking up your slack,” the stomping monster shouted, his voice gravelly and phlegm-choked. “Did you consider what I’d have to say to Muzglob if I came back under quota? Did you, you indolent man-swine?”

Mario and Cappy took one look at the scene. They then took out the brochure, gave it another once-over, and went back to squinting at the greenskin. After placing the brochure in his overalls again, Mario promptly tossed Cappy at the tormentor, the Bonneter spinning towards the creature with a gleeful “WAH-HAH!” Cappy snapped to the top of his head, and a blood-curdling scream tore out of the monster’s lungs before he spontaneously grew a bushy mustache and exclaimed “Yahoo!”, leaping into the air with his scimitar drawn.

“Wait, what the hell’s going on with Gor-” As soon as he turned around, one of the creatures received a shiv between the ribs, the blade bursting out from his back, black ichor spilling forth from his wound and dripping from the sword of his squadmate. A whispered croak issued from his cracked lips as Mario pushed him off the blade, just in time for him to dodge the swings of the other ogre, the muscled brute punctuating every failed attack with a snarl as Mario hopped back on each stroke with a woah or an ooh. He lost his head and put all his strength into the next swing, but only succeeded in nicking Mario’s arm before the plumber’s pilfered sword entered his neck and came bursting out the top of his skull. Mario rematerialized from the monster, and he only looked at his dead companion for one moment before his head was crushed by two loafers stomping on it from above, sending dark blood and chunks of his skull flying everywhere like a toxic watermelon.

Both Mario and Cappy breathed sighs of relief with that messy deed done, though Mario had gotten quite a nasty scrape near his wrist. He held his chubby arm near the gash, giving an exasperated “Mamma mia!” before pulling a mushroom out of his pockets and stuffing his face with it. He turned his attention to the slaves, who were visibly confused and somewhat disturbed by this total stranger who just did away with their sadistic overseers, some of them trying to help their tortured friend to his feet. “Uh…thank you…sir,” one of the younger ones said, his words dragging along. “I…we’re happy for your assistance.” Mario nodded with an “Mhm” and his hat started talking, which visibly troubled the man wearing tatters. 

“Whatever’s going on here, it looks seriously nasty. If you need to, we can escort you out of the country. The Mushroom Kingdom-”

“Ah, no, but thank you for the concern,” the prisoner replied, scratching the back of his head, then rubbing his shoulder. “If we can find some suitable weapons, then maybe we could hunker down here and take the fight to those damnable orcs.”

“I mean, alright, but shouldn’t you find some food first,” Cappy said, as Mario offered the man and his fellow ex-slaves some mushrooms. He took one of them, staring into its beady black eyes. It blinked. He pretended he didn’t see that and took a bite out of it, chewing it gingerly before letting it fall into his stomach. “I, um…I thank you for the provisions,” trying to smile naturally. The other escapees each took a mushroom from Mario’s hand. One put it back, walked to a blue bell-shaped flower nearby, and stuffed it in his mouth.

“Hey, is that healthy to-”

“IT IS! It is! I was a farmer before I got captured!”

“Well, jeez, if you didn’t want a mushroom, you could have just said so,” Cappy said as Mario fished an entire pitcher of maple syrup from his back pocket, presented it before his audience, and stuffed it back in there. “Well, then, good luck! Hope you get all the flowers and mushrooms you ne-”

“Well, well, well, look what we’ve got here.” Another gravelly voice gurgled from above, its sickly baritone crawling into the ears of everyone present. When Mario turned his head, he was met with another orc, this one clad in wooden, spiky armor, wearing a crudely forged helmet on his enormous head. “I come here to check up on my boys and I see some glob with a swelled head trying to disrupt our mining operations.” He drew two razor-thin scythes from his back, fresh blood suddenly dripping as he twirled them about. “Well, I’ll make sure nothing like that happens in the future by sticking his skull on a SPIKE!”

As he finished his speech, he suddenly leapt toward Mario, covering enough distance to put a frog to shame. The plumber narrowly dodged his blow as the refugees ran away from the battle. The greenskin’s bloodshot eyes looked toward the fleeing escapees, and with a stomach-turning grin, he swung both scythes at the escapees. Mario gasped, and his legs propelled him toward the weapons. He attempted to catch them out of midair, but his hands were shredded up by the blades, and he held his palms, yelling as the scythes flew back into the orc captain’s calloused hands. “Ahaha! Smart move, pinkskin! What, were you going to try and bite it in half, next? “ His legs bent at the knees, readying themselves for another wide leap, the orc’s sharp, pus-yellow teeth showing in a hideous grin. “I would have loved to see that just to see you choke on your own BLO-!”

His pounce and his taunt was interrupted mid-air by a hat flying right into his chin, hard enough to launch some of his teeth right out of his gingivitic mouth. As Mario caught Cappy, he immediately leaped into the air and pushed out his feet right before hitting the orc’s chest as he lay dazed on the ground, squishing it between both halves of his breastplate and spewing black goop from his mouth. He dodged a swipe from the wounded orc, jumping back as his enemy got up, swiping at everything near him. “You obnoxious piece of shrakh…I don’t know what kind of halfling trickery you put in that hat, but it’s not going to save you from getting your face cleaved off!” He ran towards Mario, blades swinging at him from each direction with the force of a maelstrom. The hero’s vaunted agility defended him from the brunt of his attacks, but the monster tore cuts and welts on his arms and legs, drawing thick crimson blood. “Ahahahahaha! Should have brought more than-”

Again, the orc’s taunt was interrupted, this time by a gloved fist slamming into his chin, with even more of his sharp teeth flying in all directions. The impact was even enough to send his helmet tumbling away this time. “Urgh…cursed pinkskin. I’ll-” His stopped his death threat before it even began, baffled by the sight of Mario dashing away as fast as his stubby little legs could carry him, stuffing a mushroom into his mouth “What!?” After his brief befuddlement, he hurled his bloody scythes at the portly fellow, but merely gave him a bad haircut, Mario taking his hat off just in time. Faced with no other option, the captain chased him across the fields of Nurnen, racing past the lush green grass and tall, sturdy trees until he confronted him at the seaside cliffs, tremendous waves breaking against the cragged rocks at the bottom.

“Ehehe…you know, I just thought you had a strangely thick skull, but now I see that you’re just another pathetic, cowardly runt, just like the rest of the softskins,” the orc said, gnashing his filthy yellow teeth at Mario as he twirled his scythes, sending droplets of rich red blood spilling across the foliage. “Such a shame you won’t be able to join the rest of your pinkskin brothers in freedom, but don’t worry: you’ll meet ‘em again soon enough after I flay your head and hang your skull from my waist. I’ll even leave those giant eyes of yours in their sockets so you can watch what I’ll do to ‘em.” Mario could watch his blood-filled eyes estimate the distance between their current positions, wary of the cliffs. His muscles tensed up, glaring at his persistent foe, curling and uncurling his fingers as the monster stood there with his scythes at the ready and his lips drawn back into a grimace.

They stood there, as the waves crashed, the grass blew, and hell-hawks screeched in the distance.

Squeaks and warbles sounded out. It was all over now.

“WA-HAH,” the orc cried out in a falsetto as he leapt over the cliffs, a red cap adorning his formerly bare head. Mario jumped out of him as he fell, and the last he heard of him was his horrified screams, cut off suddenly by the meaty crunch of the jagged rocks suddenly halting his descent. He adjusted Cappy, giving a sigh of exhaustion. “Man, that guy just wouldn’t quit,” he complained. “And to think, there’s more jerks like him making people work themselves until they break down.” Mario shook his head, displeased by the current state of Middle-Earth. 

“Think we should go back and stock up on supplies?”

Mario scratched his chin, then spouted some gibberish.

“You’ve got a point there. The less time we spend freeing the slaves, the more time they have to abuse them past the point of recovery.” Mario turned around to Nurnen, the two glaring at the rickety buildings. “Alright, then…let’s go kick their butts!”


End file.
